Within the Depths of Randomness
by CrazyRabidPony
Summary: Oh, my gosh! Evil hamsters, exploding pickles, dancing goats, talking cheese, magical twoheaded wombats? Just to list a few things that go on in my demented mind! Mwahahahahaha!
1. An Idiot and His Hamster

White Pony: Just a lil something I wrote while I was hyper!

Disclaimer Dude: Oh, somebody please kill me!

White Pony: You're so funny, Disclaimer Dude! Do your disclaiming!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.

_**Within the Depths of Randomness**_

_Story One: An Idiot and His Hamster._

One morning in a faraway land, it was raining potatoes. While scratching his back with a broom, a guy named Bob was hit in the head with a potato. Bob fell to the ground and his whole body began to twitch. After many hours of twitching, Bob turned into a corndog with big, squeaky clown shoes covered in peanut butter. Suddenly, Bob the corndog was wearing a twenty gallon jug of milk on his head and was screaming.

"GRANDMA, WHAT BIG FEET YOU'VE GOT!" Bob screamed.

There was Bob's hamster, Chuppy. Chuppy is a mad, psychopathic Syrian who wants to become the merciless, supreme overlord of Earth.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Chuppy laughed evilly for no reason. Lightning flashed evilly behind the evil hamster's body as he laughed evilly.

Chuppy's stupid owner, Bob, came into his room wearing a trash bin over his stupid corndog body.

"You! Owner! I don't recall giving you permission to enter my territory!" Chuppy bellowed at his owner in his British accent.

"But, Pa, you can't tie me in a sack and throw me in a puddle!" cried the corndog.

"Imbecile!"

Then Chuppy started foaming at the mouth when a giant polka-dotted rubber ducky jumped out of the bathtub in the middle of the room and began tap dancing. Suddenly, an unpredictable midget in a chimpanzee costume painted everything pink. Minutes later, everybody in town was yodeling to the Indiana Jones theme song and doing a happy dance.

Bob the corndog turned into a goat with a collar with little bells. Bob the goat danced like an idiot and he limboed under a hill. He chopped down a stump with a giant pickle. Bob tossed the pickle into the air and it exploded. Suddenly, an extra-large bucket of fried chicken went up to Bob the goat and started beating him up. After beating him up, the bucket of fried chicken went away singing the Canadian National Anthem.

Chuppy heard a noise in the backyard that sounded like chocolate ice cream.

"What the duce?" exclaimed Chuppy and he pressed a secret button at the bottom of his cage. The door of his cage opened and he jumped out. Chuppy was in his pink tutu and he danced to the backyard. He took a look around and he found an airplane doing jumping jacks in the sandbox.

"DIE, AIRCRAFT!" cried Chuppy and he got out his bubble gun. He shot the plane with a fury of bubbles and the plane went up in flames.

"Ha!" exclaimed Chuppy, "Victory is mine!"

Ten minutes later, Chuppy turned into a chicken.

"Blast!" Chuppy shouted angrily, "I'm a chicken!"

Chuppy the chicken threw himself to the ground and cried like the color "moo". Then Chuppy turned back into a hamster.

"Well, that was rather strange," said Chuppy.

When Chuppy looked into a mirror that magically appeared, he realized that he was blue.

"AHHHHHHH!" Chuppy screamed.

Then a walrus fell out of the sky and landed on Chuppy.

"Sorry," said the walrus and he got up and went away.

When poor Chuppy got up, he was wearing a Mexican wrestler outfit.

"I don't know why, but I'm suddenly in the mood for tacos."

Chuppy happily skipped back into the house. Suddenly, wheels appeared on the house and Chuppy drove the house to a Taco Bell at the bottom of the ocean.


	2. Lee Roy the Mentally Impaired

White Pony: The randomness goes on!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.

_**Within the Depths of Randomness**_

_Story Two: Lee Roy the Mentally Impaired_

It was a typical day in the Magical Land of Randomness. The birds were swimming, the fish were flying, and the rabid leprechauns were licking polka-dotted skunks.

A man named Lee Roy, who was riding on a broom with cardboard wheels, crashed through a brick wall. He ran into a giant lollipop and passed out. Ten hours later, Lee Roy woke up and he was covered with applesauce (But it took him twenty minutes to realize it). He ripped the cardboard wheels off of his broom and ate them.

"Giddiyap, Captain Creampuff!" Lee Roy cried as he mounted his broom as if it were a horse.

The broom turned into a rubber chicken and it attacked Lee Roy's face. He screamed like a little girl and ran around in circles. Seconds later, the rubber chicken exploded.

"Mugie gabugie!" Lee Roy exclaimed happily, "Shmugatu! Wheeeeee!"

Suddenly, a cactus that was eating a cookie came out of a plot hole. Lee Roy put on a skirt and he danced with the cactus like a deranged monkey.


	3. Wombats and Cheese

White Pony: Mwahahahahaha!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.

_**Within the Depths of Randomness.**_

_Story Three: Wombats and Cheese._

There was a cow standing in the middle of a field. She was having tea with a block of cheese that appeared out of nowhere. Then the cow turned into a bunch of grapes.

"Grapes!" cried the cheese, "You are my slaves!"

"How dare you mock us, my lord!" countered the largest grape of all, "We are the 'Grapes of Wrath'!"

The grapes were filled with so much fury, they exploded and their remains materialized into a magical two-headed wombat.

"I like chocolate pudding with whipped cream!" the magical two-headed wombat declared.

"Me too!" the cheese cried.

They danced together.

Suddenly, it was raining evil pink bunnies. One of the evil pink bunnies ripped off one of the magical two-headed wombat's heads because it was actually a mashed potato sculpture that was glued to her shoulder.

"NOOOOOOO!" the magical wombat sobbed.

"Mwahahahaha!" the evil pink bunny laughed evilly. He laughed and laughed until he swelled up like a balloon. Then he floated up to the sky and he lived on the moon. The rest of the evil pink bunnies skipped up a redwood tree and played hopscotch.

The magical wombat was still sad. The cheese tried to cheer her up by making funny faces. Then the cheese realized that he had no face. Now the cheese was sad.

"Oh, Happy Tractor!" the magical wombat said dramatically, "Where art thou, Happy Tractor?"

"Happy Tractor hungry!" an extremely fat man popped out from his burrow. He seized the cheese and ate him.

"No! Bad, Happy Tractor!" the magical wombat scolded the fat man.

"Happy Tractor hungry!" Happy Tractor boomed, "Happy Tractor want eat!"

With all of her magical powers, the magical wombat sent Happy Tractor into outer space. He instantly froze and became Pluto's newest moon. It was named "Clubbing the Praying Mantis at Dawn" A.K.A. "My Big Fat Greek Grease Monkey".


	4. Wrath of Super Rhyming Sheep

White Pony: Here's more random goodness!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony still doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.

_**Within the Depths of Randomness**_

_Story Four: The Wrath of da Super Rhyming Sheep._

There was a flock of sheep running in circles in the middle of a golf course. The sheep were singing.

"There once was a girl named Nilly Shilly and she was very silly!" the sheep sang.

Suddenly, it was raining grand pianos and the golfers realized that they were in the dreaded cursed golf course with the legendary super rhyming sheep. Every time the sheep would rhyme, something terrible would happen. The golfers tried to scare away the sheep with their stupid outfits, but they were protected by a crop circle.

"Her hair was as white as a killer whale's belly and she has a rash as red as strawberry jelly!"

Everyone's underpants turned into glue. They tried to leave the golf course, but a tyrannosaurus rex was blocking the exit.

"Dost thou come here to whine?" the tyrannosaurus rex asked the golfers.

"He is mad, Laertes!" replied the golfers.

The tyrannosaurus rex transformed into a raptor because it was "Hamlet Day". Whenever a large dinosaur quoted from Hamlet and a group of people responded with a Hamlet quote, it would turn into a smaller dinosaur.

"She has eyes the size of meatballs and arms as long as Niagra Falls!" the sheep continued while everybody's name was changed to "Gary". Those whose name was already Gary was changed to "Alfalfa".

"Her ears were big and they flapped in the wind!"

Nothing happened.

"Her feet are humongous and are covered with fungus!" the Garys and one Alfalfa were forced to eat brussel sprout onion molasses liver hickory smoked violin soup, "Her toes are the size of hummingbird eggs and she never shaved her woolly mammoth legs!"

The golfers fell to the ground and turned into tap dancing heads of lettice. The raptor used his magical poking stick to make the crop circle turn into a farmer and a sheep dog. The farmer and his sheep dog herded the super rhyming sheep and they flew away to the Gobi Desert on a magic carpet.


	5. Captain Fisty

White Pony: Alright! Thank you, reviewers! Especially PsychopathicJoy! You rock!

Disclaimer Dude: Let's get this over with... White Pony doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.

_**Within the Depths of Randomness**_

_Story Five: Captain Fisty._

There was a pirate ship sailing on the open sea. The captain of the ship had two eye patches, two hooks for hands, and two peg legs. His name is Captain Fisty.

"Yarrgh, me fat little ladies!" yelled Captain Fisty the fistless, legless, eyeless pirate to his crew, "Throw thee yard arms!"

"What did ye say, Captain?" asked the first mate, Fishheads the keeper of discarded sardine tins.

"I want one of ye fat cows to hand me a measuring tape thingy!" Captain Fisty replied.

"BLARG YAR ARGH?" asked Blargy the speaker of the pirate form of Gibberish screaming.

"I be building a birdhouse for me parrot, Squawky!" said Captain Fisty cheerfully.

"Ye can't build a birdhouse, Captain," said Fishheads, "Because ye don't have hands."

Captain Fisty angrily drew his cutlass and skillfully held it in his hook.

"How dare ye mock me, Seaweed Brains!"

"Seaweed Brains be over thare, Captain. I be Fishheads."

"Sick 'em, Squawky!" Captain Fisty ordered. A pterodactyl swooped down from the highest mast and devoured Fishheads.

"BLARG! ARGH RARARGH!" Blargy screamed.

"Gerbils? Whare?" Captain Fisty searched blindly.

"Gerbils be rowing ye lifeboat to thee ship with thee treasure!" exclaimed Seaweed Brains.

"Be quiet, Squid Guts!" Captain Fisty snapped at Seaweed Brains.

"I be up heer, Captain!" Squid Guts called from the crow's nest.

"Shut up! Or shall I have to taunt ye?" Captain Fisty threatened.

"Noooo!" Squid Guts cried out in pure horror. Then Squid Guts jumped overboard and was eaten by a cheese danish that thought it was a shark.

"Whare's Groggy the Froggy?" Captain Fisty demanded.

"Ye made im walk thee plank yesteeday, Captain," said Seaweed Brains.

"Who's still heer?"

"There be you, Captain Fisty thee fistless, legless, eyeless pirate. Me, Seaweed Brains thee guy with thee fattest bum. Blargy thee speaker of thee pirate form of Gibberish screaming. Seahorse Kidneys thee pirate who swabs the decks in slow motion. Gerbils thee... no, thee cheese danish got Gerbils."

"Is thee treasure alright?" asked Captain Fisty.

"Maybe," Seaweed Brains replied nervously.

"Oh, well. I never really wanted thee treasure. Adventure on thee open sea with ye mates an unforgettable memories be what really counts."

The crew agreed with their captain and they sailed off into the sunset and burned.


	6. The Crazy Psycho Person

White Pony: Now here is one of my personal favorites!

Disclaimer Dude: NOOOOO!

White Pony: YEEESSSS! Go, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.

_**Within the Depths of Randomness**_

_Story Six: The Crazy Psycho Person._

There was a crazy psycho person living in a peaceful community that he made not so peaceful everyday. He was riding on a rocking horse in a lawn chair, on the top of his totaled car, on a thimble, on a daisy, on an elephant, on the roof of his house.

"I am your mother!" he declared to the world, "Obey my goldfish and I will let you hug the purple porcupine!"

The people of the neighborhood ran back inside their houses.

"Aw! Don't be shy, little girl!" the crazy psycho person jumped onto his neighbor's rooftop next door and jumped down the chimney after seeing him run inside his house in fright, "Wheeeee!"

"Santa Clause!" the neighbor's children exclaimed.

"Hello, my lovely little duckies!" the crazy psycho person greeted the kids who recoiled in fear.

"MOMMY!" the children cried. A woman came to the rescue, wielding her broom of doom.

"Get out! Shoo!" she shooed the crazy psycho person with her threatening broom of doom.

"Hiya, George!" the crazy psycho person yelled happily as he tackled the woman and huggled her broom of doom.

"Honey!" the woman cried. A middle aged man wearing a pink frilly apron came out of his hiding place.

"Daddy! You're back from France!" the crazy psycho person glomped his next door neighbor and he began polishing his bald head, "Shiny, shiny!"

"Get off!" the neighbor ordered angrily.

"Doughnut!" the crazy psycho person crashed through the wall and attacked a kiddie pool, "My precioussssss!"

Suddenly, the kiddie pool turned into a cloning machine and cloned the crazy psycho person. The army of crazy psycho persons took over the world and they worshiped a peanut shaped like George Washington Carver.


	7. Billy Goes Camping

White Pony: Here's the last one I have until I go on another sugar high rampage.

Disclaimer Dude: Which I hope never comes.

White Pony: Oh, it will come someday, alright.

Disclaimer Dude: White Pony doesn't own any references that may appear in this story.

_**Within the Depths of Randomness**_

_Story Seven: Billy Goes Camping._

There was an armadillo named Billy who had a very stressful job with his rabid boss. One day, Billy decided that he needed time away from his job when his rabid boss, with bulging eyes and foam forming at the corners of his mouth, yelled at him after finding him under his desk rocking back and forth in a fetal position. Billy also needed time away from the evil lobster that lives in his laundry hamper. He especially needed time away from his insane wife. Or he would if he even had an insane wife or a wife that wasn't insane.

When Billy got home from work, he was mauled by his pet gerbil. When injured Billy limped over to the laundry hamper to drop his tie, he was hit by an atomic bomb that the evil lobster threw at him. Billy, somehow, survived the atomic blast. It could've been the "bomb proof" tie he was wearing.

Billy randomly decided to go camping, but there was one problem: He didn't have a tent. So he ordered one from the creepy zombie sock puppet that lives in the attic. Billy got the tent by dinnertime and it was made out of sun dried avocados. After Billy packed up everything, he jumped into his pool which teleported him to the wilderness. Then he tried to put up the avocado tent, but it exploded. Then it exploded again.

Billy gave up the tent and he decided to go out on a hike. Along the way, he was attacked by an albino grizzly bear. Before the albino bear could seriously injure Billy, she ran off to chase a shiny object because she as A.D.D.

Billy saw a lake nearby and he suddenly felt like going swimming. He jumped into the lake where he was ambushed by robotic trout. They chased Billy around the lake until they realized that they were made of metal and they rusted. Billy dragged himself out of the water and he crawled back to the campsite. He was surprised to see racoons raiding his food supplies. When Billy tried to chase the racoons away, they glared at him angrily and shot laser beams out of their eyes. Billy got out a remote control and a Robotic Richard Simmons emerged from the trees. The racoons ran away and never bothered Billy again. Then the tent exploded again.

"Squirble," said Billy and he was transported home, ready to tackle another day of work the next day.

When Billy went to work the next day, he was promoted and became the new boss because the old rabid boss was fried by racoons that could shoot laser beams out of their eyes right after he was crushed by Mr. Anvil.


End file.
